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As an introvert, you can search for cues and learn to respond appropriately. Other people may interpret the introvert’s reserved nature as snobbish, or they may find an introvert’s deep passion for a particular topic to be too intense or serious.

"Have you attended events organized by this group before?" followed by "What did you think of today's presentation?".

"What do you do?", followed by "How did you enter that profession? What brought you to that type of work?".

"Where are you from?", followed by "What is your hometown like? How is it different than here?".

Open-ended questions can nudge the conversation into deeper, more authentic territory – where introverts tend to thrive. In Conversationally Speaking: Tested New Ways to Increase Your Personal and Social Effectiveness, Alan Garner suggests following up simple questions with open-ended ones. After all, you don’t want to scare the other person away. Open-ended questions, on the other hand, can spark longer and richer discussions. Simple questions tend to elicit a one-word answer. We can get more house in the suburbs, but the trade-off is the commute."

Question: "What did you do this weekend?" Short response: "I went house-hunting." Better response: "I went house-hunting. We're considering the city versus the suburbs.

It doesn't rain all the time, and I enjoyed the amazing seafood and coffee.

Question: "Where are you from?" Short response: "Seattle." Better response: "I'm from Seattle.

It will be my first time in Europe, and I look forward to trying proper English tea."

I'm getting ready for my vacation to England.

Question: "How are you?" Short response: "Fine." Better response: "Good, thanks.

By providing multi-faceted responses, you can provide “hooks” for the other person to continue the conversation. Instead, embellish your responses with juicy tidbits of information.

Do not provide one-word, closed responses these cut the conversation short. At some point, you must share a bit about yourself. If you relentlessly pepper the other person with questions, it will feel like an interrogation. (But do not be tempted to let the other person do all the talking! See tip #5.) If you feel uncomfortable or fatigued mid-conversation, ask more questions and subtly turn the attention away from yourself. By allowing the other person to take center stage initially, you can build your comfort level and test the waters before sharing your own thoughts. So how can you start conversations and keep them flowing? The answer is simple – ask questions. They are often reluctant to disclose too much about themselves, especially to new people. Introverts tend to feel uncomfortable in the spotlight.

If you show true interest, you’ll invite further discussion and set a positive tone for future interactions. Carefully listen to the other person, and provide a thoughtful response.

When you ask “how are you?” or “how was your weekend?”, approach the conversation with genuine interest. Channel your natural curiosity into small talk. They love digging deep, delving into topics that interest them, and learning what makes people tick. Small talk serves an important purpose - it helps build the foundation for authentic conversations and deeper relationships down the road. Think of small talk as the light appetizer before the main course, and approach it with renewed purpose. Instead of dwelling on negative thoughts (“I’m awful at this,” “I hate small talk,” or “when can I go home?”), remind yourself that small talk isn't superficial. If you approach small talk with the belief that it will be dull and pointless, it probably will. “I will reward myself with a quiet evening on the couch, watching my favorite movie.”.